Bar joke
In an embarassing bar moment, a drunk pukes on his own shirt. Sadly, this is not the first time he has done this. He thinks to himself "I can't go home like this AGAIN, or my wife will kill me!"
The bartender comes to the rescue, and places a $20 in the puker's shirt pocket. He then instructs our embarrassed patron to tell his wife that a stranger gave him the $20 after "tossing cookies" on his shirt.
Lacking any better ideas, the drunk agrees to the plan. He tells his wife this story when he gets home. However, when the wife reaches into the shirt pocket, she finds not one, but two $20s.
"Why are there two twenties?" she asks.
Quickl the drunk replies, "Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too."